Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Zack and Miri make a Porno

Kevin Smith does it again. This time he teams up with Seth Rogen and delivers and raunchy-funny, sex- comedy...and it is glorious! I love this movie. It had everything a funny movie should have. Comedy, nudity, drama, more comedy and more nudity.

Zack and Miri are the best of friends and upon attending their high school reunion, they discover that the old quarterback really does like to get behind guys and snap some balls! And he gets paid royally to do it. They meet his current boy toy hilariously played by Justin Long and they get the idea to make a low budget porno to make some money and pay the rent, and the utilities and their debts. With the help of some new friends, like porn stars Katie Morgan and Traci Lords, they set out to make a porno...Star Whores! And what Kevin Smith movies is good without Jason Mewes who takes a step out of his "Jay" character to play "Lester". Craig Robinson from "The Office" has a great role too as the producer. Mix it all up together and you have genius. Zack and Miri make a Porno is a great film, with a softer love side for the ladies as well. Go see it and you won't be disappointed...yes indeed!

4 stars (out of 4)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Top 5 Movies for Halloween

My buddy asked me to make this. My Top 5 movies to watch for Halloween. And here we go:

1: Halloween (2007 Rob Zombie version) - Mr Zombie remade this classic horror film and he did a pretty good job. It was more hardcore, more gruesome and more scary. This movie was pretty terrifying. The old 70's version is just as good though but, the newer one is more hardcore, which is what you want in a scary movie.

2: Scream - This movie is a good scary movie. But this one and only this one. The other two don't count. This one is good, they should have stopped with this one. But it is actually pretty good and scary too. If you let go of the movie cliches and the 90's style then your good to go. Hey its Halloween.

3: The Ring - This movie is messed up in so many ways. And it's one of those movies that will stay in your mind for like 2 days and continue to creep you out. That means its good. Yeah this one is kinda messed up.

4: Nightmare on Elm St. - Don't fall asleep because this guy will get you. But you'll have to go to sleep after you watch the movie so your going to be scared. That's good stuff. I mean cmon, its Freddy freakin Krugar, nuff said. Any of these movies are good.

5: Friday the 13th - Technically Jason doesn't show up until the second movie but that's OK. The first one is good. And so are the rest. Well probably only the second one. After that is just gets kinda lame but the first two are very creepy.

Honorable mentions - Saw (the first one and only the first one), Wrong Turn , Halloween H2O , Blair Witch Project , The Grudge

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Top 5 Tarantino Flicks

I just watched Deathproof and Kill Bill again and I got on a Tarantino kick. So here are my Top 5 Quentin Tarantino movies: (The ones he wrote and directed)

1: Pulp Fiction - Unbelievable movie. Tarantino at his best. The first 15 minutes of the movie say it all!

2: Deathproof - Oh man, this movie was nasty! The script is phenomenal and the car chase at the end is probably one of the best in movie history. The chicks were great, Kurt Russel was bad ass, and the music was even better!

3: Kill Bill vol. 1 - Uma Thurman can kick some ass. I watched this movie for the first time with my buddy and we thought it was nasty as hell. The story and the fight scene at the end was freakin great!
4: Inglorious Bastards - Oh man, this one was so good. The dialogue was perfect and left me hanging on every word. The violence was beautiful and Christoff Waltz totally deserved the Best Supporting Actor Award for it too! Some people didn't like how it wasn't historically accurate but that's what I like about it. Near perfect movie!

5: Reservoir Dogs - Its true what they say in "Swingers", slow motion makes a scene look even more bad ass. Put some guys walking down the street in matching suits, add some 70's music and put it in slow motion and you got a memorable looking scene. Tarantino's first film put a standard on his other ones. This film is the first of its kind. With intricate story lines and unforgettable dialogue. Classic.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

O man. I saw this movie in theaters when it first came out and I don't think I've ever laughed that hard! And it was just as funny the second time i watched it on DVD. I thought it was going to be funny but not that funny.

The movie stars Jason Segal as Peter. A guy who is dating T.V. star Sarah Marshall played by Kristen Bell. She dumps him so he decides to go to Hawaii on vacation to try to get her out of his mind but low and behold she is there to with her new celebrity boyfriend played by Russel Brand who is freakin hilarious in this movie. From here the movie follows what I think a break up from someone serious is exactly like. (it follows a guys point of view, but it is written so well)

This movie may be funnier than Knocked Up and 40yr Old Virgin. It provides the perfect amount of comedy, real life, and a little drama to make it an awesome movie. Any guy, who has gotten dumped by a girl will love this movie and any girl who likes to laugh will love this movie too! Jason Segal stars and wrote this movie. I like these guys who write their own stuff and put real life (kinda) scenarios in it. The way the girl acts towards the guy is dead on. And the way the guy acts is perfect too. Probably a little funnier than real life but still great. Just watch this movie if you haven't and you will laugh harder than you ever had before. This movie just might get bumped into the top 5.

4 Stars (out of 4)

Run Fatboy Run

This movie was great. I was really excited to see it and I was actually really surprised because I liked it more than I thought I was going to.

The movie stars Simon Pegg as a guy who likes to run away from his problems and his feelings. He leaves his wife at the alter, while pregnant, and is now a security guard at a women's lingerie store. He ex-fiance is now together with some guy who has it all together. He's rich, smart, and athletic. It is because of this guy, that Pegg's character (Dennis) finds out he is still in love with his ex. So to compete with this new guy, he decides to run in a marathon and all he has to do is finish to get the respect from his friends and his ex-love.

Pegg is fantastic in this movie. The humor he adds to a comedy is brilliant and this comedy is brilliant. It is hysterically funny! It has a great love story, and it actually quite inspirational. And I think its directed by Ross from Friends. If you liked "Shaun of the Dead", and "Hot Fuzz", you will love "Run Fatboy Run."

3 Stars (out of 4)

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Love Guru

So I rented this movie the other day. I had low expectations for it because I saw that it got terrible reviews and it wasn't in theaters for very long and it's already out on DVD, but, it wasn't half bad.

Mike Myers is pretty genius at comedy with the characters he comes up with Wayne Campbell from SNL, to Austin Powers and Dr. Evil to now, the Guru Pitka. The movie is definitely good for some laughs. It is not as good as Austin Powers and some of the jokes you have heard before are actually from Austin Powers, but it should put a smile on your face at least once. So rent it one night when you've got nothing to do, put on your pj's, eat some Ben and Jerry's and try to have a good time.

Oh yeah, it also stars Justin Timberlake and he sucks in this one!
2 Stars (out of 4)......yes indeed!

Yankee Stadium 1923 - 2008

R.I.P. Yankee Stadium....my friend says it better than I ever could. Read his at proudestjunkie.blogspot.com.

"I want to be a part of it...New York"

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Top 5 Worst Movies

1. Batman and Robin - Thank God Christopher Nolan came out with the new Batman Movies to redeem the caped crusader. After this movie with the Governator and Uma Thurman, the Batman name was almost shot. It had horrible acting, a horrible plot, and apparently Batman has every single thing from ultra heaters to a credit card. He doesn't hide his voice and its not hard to tell that Chris O'Donnell is Robin. And Alicia Silverstone should not be Batgirl...there shouldn't even be a Batgirl...or a Robin. I say again, thank God for the new movies.

2. Open Water - The boat leaves them behind in the middle of the ocean by accident. They're stranded, and then they die. It's a two hour movie and they are in the ocean by themselves for about 1 hour and 45 minutes. Then they die, it sucks and its just depressing. No thanks.

3. Dreamcatcher - I have no idea what this movie is about. I think aliens are invading the world or they already have something. Then these 4 guys are trying to take a vacation in the mountains when one guy gets abducted, then another gets eaten, then another guy goes to find another friend who is mentally retarded and turns out to be an alien. LAME!

4. Rumor Has It - Jennifer Aniston hooks up with Kevin Costner who turns out to be the actual guy for the story behind "The Graduate". They sleep together so that means Costner has slept with 3 generations of women and Aniston, knowing all this information, sleeps with him anyway. If your a respectable women, would you sleep with someone who has slept with your mother and your grandmother? I didn't think so. And Aniston winds up cheating on her fiance with this guy! And then, she gets mad at him when he won't take her back, but he does and it just goes to show how some women can be just be f***heads!

5. Waiting - I watched this movie, didn't laugh. I worked in a restaurant and watched this movie again, and still didn't laugh. It was kinda gross, and Ryan Reynolds is too good an actor to accept a role where a mid-twenties guys hits on a minor in high school. I though it was going to be good, it looked good, but I hated this movie!

Honorable Mentions: Batman Forever, Open Water 2, Scream 3, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie, Disaster Movie (enough is enough already guys), Semi-Pro, The Happening, Lady in the Water, Shutter.


Saturday, September 6, 2008


"Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued is just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

-Nathaniel Hawthorn

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Pineapple Express

I took a trip on the "Pineapple Express" and it was astonishing! Oh man, this movie had me rollin! Even though i don't smoke pot, it had everything from comedy, to action, to violence, to adventure and great comedic performances to back it up.

The movie stars Seth Rogen (who also co-wrote the movie) as Dale Denton. A process server who smokes a lot of pot provided by his dealer, Saul. Played by James Franco. Denton witnesses a murder and now he and Saul are on the run from Drug Lords.

What I liked about this movie was it was exactly how two regular guys would think and act if they were in a situation like this. But add marijuana to the mix and you've got movie gold. The dialogue was perfect and the performances were equally great. Rogen was hilarious as usual but the true comedic breakout performance was from James Franco. I always thought his acting was kind of lame, what with the Spiderman movies and all but in this movie....he had me dyin!

Pineapple Express is comedy adventure that is awesome from start to finish and is probably the best stoner movie of all time. But you don't have to be high to enjoy it. Actually, I wouldn't recommend it because then you won't appreciate it as much. And if you are going to see it, go at a time when there won't be a lot of people there. We had a lot of potheads in the theater with us and it made the movie less enjoyable. They shouted things out, the kid next to me (who sat right next to me with a whole row open) was chowing down on some big greasy pretzel and laughing like a moron. But anyways, the movie was hilarious! Go see it...yes indeed!

4 stars (out of 4)

Harold and Kumar: Escape From Guantanamo Bay

I just saw the new Harold and Kumar movie. "Escape from Guantanamo Bay". I'll keep this one short.

The first one was better. Your not missing much if you don't see it. Same jokes, new adventure. Its good for a few laughs but thats about it. It wasn't as funny as I thought it was going to be.
(Rob Corddry was pretty hilarious though!)

2 stars (out of 4)

Saturday, August 23, 2008

In Bruges

I recently watched the movie "In Bruges". The movie stars Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Ralph Fiennes. The film didn't last long in theaters but when I saw a preview for it a while back I thought it looked pretty entertaining. I thought it might have been one of those movies that didn't get a lot of attention but if you watched you would love it. Kind of like "Snatch" or "Memento". But after watching it I really wasn't that impressed.

The movie has Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson as hit men and they have to spend some time in Bruges (it's in Belgium). They are to wait instructions from their Boss. But going stir crazy with boredom has Farrell's character do things that get him into trouble and Gleeson's character going crazy from Farrell. Farrell screws up a job and that makes the boss angry and Farrell soon finds himself not liking Bruges even more than he thought.

I didn't really care for this movie. I was expecting a witty, funny, upbeat comedy satire like "Snatch" and I found the movie to be more depressing and serious. It was as if the writers didn't know to make it a comedy or a drama and the confusion just made me unsatisfied. However, the dialogue between all the characters was great. And I'm not a big fan of Colin Farrell but he was pretty decent in this one. So watch it if you want, but if you don't your not missing much.

2 stars (out of 4)

Right Side Up or Upside Down?

How hard is it suppossed to be? How come life is harder for some people than it is for others? How come sometimes, the people who feel like they have a good understanding of life suddenly get their world turned upside down? Or maybe it's just turning right side up after being turned upside down for so long.

People always say, that this person or this experience or this moment has turned my whole world upside down. What if those moments and experiences and those people are the ones that turned it right side up? They were the ones to make sense of your life. Or maybe not. More often then not, a bad experience can turn everything and make it seem like everything is not the way its suppossed to be. Why is my life so hard or why does this have to happen to me? Or what good comes from this? Why am I the one getting my world flipped around when I'm actually doing allright. Go mess with somebody else who needs you!

But what if...those bad experiences, those bad moments and those bad people are the ones to show whatg the good one are. Can you have light without darkness? Good without evil? Are you lighting up the darkness or making it dark where there's light? Everything can have a new perspective if you look at it right side up.

Or maybe you need to look at it upside down.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

LeRoi Moore 1961-2008

LeRoi Moore was the saxophonist of the Dave Matthews Band. He died Tuesday, August 19th stemming from complications from a recent motorcycle accident last month. He was only 47.

LeRoi or Roi as Dave would call him was a very shy guy. He always wore sunglasses while performing to help concentrate and I think to kind of hide himself. He was so shy that on one occasion, he did not show up in one of the bands music videos. Yet despite the shyness of his personality, he played a nasty saxophone. The man's playing was just unreal. His jams in songs were anything from relaxing to exciting to just plain beautiful! He was part of the band who's music changed my life. He will always be remembered for the beautiful music that he gave. And he will be missed! Take it easy LeRoi....yes indeed.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Charlie Bartlett

I recently enjoyed watching the movie Charlie Bartlett. A story about a good kid in high school who does bad things to gain popularity and attention. He gets kicked out of every school he attends and all he wants is to be the person people come to for anything and everything.
Newcomer actor Anton Yelchin plays Charlie Bartlett. (Yelchin is pretty impressive in the lead role) His first day at a new school doesn't go so well which sends him straight to the family shrink and finds him easily becoming the recipient of some prescription medication. He quickly learns he can sell these easily obtainable meds to the people who actually need them...the kids that he attends class with. But he gains to much popularity as the new school therapist and soon he finds himself under the watchful eye of the school principal played by Robert Downey Jr. (Who is pretty good in this movie)

Charlie Bartlett is an original movie with a clever script and fine acting. For a day in age where everyone has a problem and every problem has a prescription, a movie that pokes fun at some psychoanalytic bull**** is good stuff. Watch this movie!

3 stars (out of 4)

Friday, August 8, 2008

Drillbit Taylor

I was referred to this movie by a friend of mine. I originally didn't really have any interest in watching it but I'm glad I did.

Owen Wilson is a homeless veteran who walks the streets begging for cash and getting food whenever he can. He is hired by three kids who keep getting constantly bullied by 2 kids at their high school. But the only problem is that they think he's an actual bodyguard when in fact he knows nothing about protecting people and his plan is to extort as much money from the kids as possible. The movie was actually pretty good. Even though some of the jokes have been used already. The plot was simple and the ending was predictable, it was still a movie worth watching. Owen Wilson gives a good performance as the lead title character Drillbilt Taylor. The kids he is hired to protect steal the show with some of the best dork performances I've seen. The overweight kid in particular had me rollin!

Drillbit Taylor is an hysterical movie with supporting actors who steal the show. So check it out.

3 Stars (out of 4)

Yes indeed...

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Fool's Gold

Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey team up again in the movie Fool's Gold. This is the first time teaming up since How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. McConaughey is a very well actor (A Time To Kill) and Hudson is definitely good (Almost Famous). But even though the two are accomplished actors, and the acting is good, the movie itself is....eh.

We find the two getting divorced at the start of the movie. Hudson can't stand to be married any longer to McConaughey who is spontaneous, free livin kind of guy. McConaughey is looking for a lost treasure that has been lost by some guy 2oo years ago and winds up dragging in everyone around him to try to get. Meanwhile, a rapper who owns an island where the treasure happens to be located is trying to kill McConaughey and get the treasure for himself. And its a finder's keeper's kinda deal with guns and not so good humor.

If I were you, I would wait till this one comes to cable. While the acting and chemistry by the lead roles are good, the story itself is lame. The tale of the treasure is impossible to follow and how it came to be where it is. McConaughey is in debt to this rapper who owns his own island, but we don't why McConaughey owns him anything. And the guy playing the rapper is one of the guys from the Scary Movie films and just can't pull off being scary (he knows how to fly a plane too!). The movie would be a lot better if they kept it more simple, explained things in a way that made sense, and had a bad guy that actually seemed bad.

With OK acting and confusing interacting story, I give Fool's Gold a "eh it's alright".
2 stars (out of 4)

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Kieth's Top 5 Movie Villains

1: Darth Vader - No person has ever looked better in a mask. You recognize his breathing anywhere and his deep voice allows for an intimidating encounter. He uses the force for evil and can dominate with a light saber...bad ass!

2: The Joker (2008 version) - Heath Ledger pulled off an unbelievable performance outdoing what Jack Nicholson so brilliantly did in 89'. The new Joker is evil in a way you want evil to be. He is dark and wants everyone to watch him destroy humanity. He is a step ahead of the competition and enjoys what he does. His masochistic mentality allows him to never be stopped. In the movie he can also kick some ass!

3: Hannibal Lechter - "Hannibal the Cannibal". Whats more evil than eating people? Not much! He can hold his own in a one on one and rip your life apart just meeting you. He's highly intelligent and psychopathic which, like The Joker, makes for a brilliant combination!

4: Michael Myers (Halloween) - This mammoth of a man puts on what originally is a William Shatner mask and goes and kills people. He kills his family, he kills random people, he kills animals. He kills pretty much anything he wants. He doesn't talk which makes for a scarier effect and walks to some pretty frightening music! He is humongous, strong, crazy, and mute which is just nasty! ( Portrayed the best in the 2007 Rob Zombie version! )

5: Anton Chigurh ( No Country For Old Men ) - He's soft spoken but driven with a purpose. He'll kill you just for inconveniencing you. Ask him the wrong question or say the wrong thing and your life could come down to a coin toss. Pretty hardcore if you ask me. And he'll can kill you a hundred different ways but the best has to be the oxygen tank shot of air to the head....nasty!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

No Country For Old Men

I found myself buying the most praised about movie of last year, "No Country For Old Men". This film won several awards including Best Picture, Best Director(s), and Best Supporting Actor. I was confused about the story and the ending the first time I watched it. But I still wanted to have it apart of my collection. Once watching it again I better appreciated it and it's character's.

I identified with all 3 main characters. The man trying to take the money and run. The man trying to get the money back and the man trying to keep the peace and make sense of the whole situation. Josh Brolin gives a very good performance as Llewelyn Moss and Tommy Lee Jones gives a surprisingly good performance as Sheriff Ed Tom Bell. (Jones' really has only given 2 good performances before this movie with "The Fugitive" and "Men in Black".) But the breakthrough performance goes to Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh. He plays a sadistic killer perfectly. The kind of guy who can kill you for looking at him the wrong way and he won't feel any remorse by it. He'll kill you and maintain his composure. He's crazy but not stupid. The way he talks, walks, thinks and acts gave me chills and I found myself once again rooting for the bad guy. Mainly because the bad guy in this particular case seems to be the one thing you remember most about the movie. The scene that steals the movie is when Bardem's character is trying to pay for gas when the attendant makes smalltalk about the weather. That's when Bardem's character switches into crazy mode and the guy walks away with his life because he won a coin toss. That's pretty bad ass if you ask me. Bardem's character is such a good villain, and Bardem plays him so well that he makes it into my Top 5 list of movie villains of all time.

"No Country For Old Men" is a solid movie that forces you to pay attention. What the movies lacks in speed it makes up for with anticipation. Great character's with great performances gave this movie the credit it deserved and should be watched by all.
4 stars (out of 4)

Friday, July 25, 2008

The Best Dance Movie There Is?

Footloose. Is Footloose the best dance movie there is? Now a days, there are dance movies coming out the wazoo. Save the last dance, Step Up, Step Up 2, How She Move, etc. Dancing isn't dancing anymore its become something a little more....dumb.

In my opinion there are only three dance movies and that's it. Footloose, Flashdance, and Dirty Dancing. Those are the ones that all the new dance movies should get compared to. Since each movie was made in the 80's, each movie has a certain degree of corniness. But as corny as they are, they still are praised more than the dance movies today. The movies today deal with "Oh no, I need to dance cause that's all I can do." I mean in that Save the Last Dance movie the sister of the main character had a baby but yet she is going out every night dancing at the club. I mean that's just not even good parenting. But yet dancing seems to be more important. These dance movies are all the same and the only difference is what "ringtone rap" song they are dancing to. Maybe it wouldn't be a problem if the kids watching these movies knew where these stories came from. They all stem from the 3 dance movies of the 80's.

In Dirty Dancing, a young girl goes to a summer resort with her family and discovers a whole new world of unconventional dancing. She learns the style and in doing so she falls in love with her instructor and discovers herself along they way. There is style 1.

In Flashdance, a young striving dancer wants to make it big so she practices and makes her way to the top. But during the movie she carries her own weight. She works two jobs and makes it all her own. (This movie also has one of the most sexiest scenes in it when she takes her bra off underneath her shirt while she's talking to a guy). There is style 2.

Finally in Footloose, a young man moves to a small town from the big city and finds out that dancing is illegal. It's him against the world when he wants to have a dance and he brings the best out in people throughout the movie. Style 3. And is Footloose the best? As cheesy as it is throughout and for the fact that no one is allowed to dance during the movie and then at the end, everyone is a good dancer, it is a great movie. Possibly, the best dance movie. Kevin Bacon has to fight off a whole town and wins. Great stuff!

I think the thing that bothers me the most is younger kids now a days have no clue about these movies. They have no idea that this is where all the ideas stem from but I guess that is the case with a lot of things these days. I think everyone should watch Footloose and get lost in the cheesiness. Have fun with 80's style and just have a good time.

Footloose : 3 Stars (out of 4)

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Dark Knight

I recently saw the latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight. I have been waiting for this movie to come out for at least 8 months. I saw the first preview for it during the I Am Legend premiere. It looked Dark, more violent and very spooky due to the fact that one of the leading roles was played by a guy who just passed away. (Heath Ledger)

The movie itself was good but the reason it was great was due to Heath Ledger. I was blown away by his performance. The Australian actor hid his accent, his face and his manorisms and became a completley different person. I was unaware it was even him. Ledger gave a oscar worthy performance as the sinister Joker. A role made famous by Jack Nicholson in the 1989 Batman directed by Tim Burton. In my opinion Ledger out-performed Nicholson. During the course of the movie I found myself rooting for Ledger's character. His happiness towards evil and his clever wit made it easy to like the bad guy. I mean the guy laughed when he was getting his butt whooped and had such a smartass idea about everything. I absolutley loved his performance.

The movie was phenomenal! A great plot, with a stellar performance allowed for this movie to work its way in to the Top 5. 4 Stars (Out of 4)

Kieth's Top 5 Movies

Here are my all time Top 5 movies: (as of 7/18/08)

1: Good Will Hunting
2: 40 Year Old Virgin
3: Star Wars Episode lll
4: Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Pearl
5: The Dark Knight