Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A Good Way To Start

When is it time to grow up? Do you ever really have to? Can you be an adult and still be able to act like a kid?

Of course, people do it all the time. I never thought I would actually grow up. I never finished college. I 've had 5 jobs within about a year or so. I lived in a small apartment with my cat and never expected to be where I am now. Which is engaged to someone who loves me. Who actually unconditionally loves me. She likes the way I look, the way I talk, the way act, and the things I do. She's proud of me and who I am. That's something I never thought i would be able to have. I've always wanted to get married. I wanted to be with someone who wanted to be with me. I've always been a hopeless romantic. The nice guy who finished last, the guy things happened to but always a little bit later than everyone else and never really in the way you wanted it. The dork who just wanted someone to be a dork with him. I am "The Dawson"!

But now, for whatever reason I found someone who wants to be with me. Who is so sure of it that it has never crossed her mind once to not be with me. How do you measure that kind of love? I've discovered the most beautiful thing in the world. Love. Love is all around if you look for it. Or maybe you don't have to. It found me when I didn't want it. It found me when I wasn't looking for it. It found me, and it was everything I could have hoped it could be and more. Realization came to me in the form of a beautiful woman and when you realize the most important thing, then everything else just kind of flows together. You grow up without losing your innocence. You become an adult while being able to feel just like a kid. You regressivly grow up and the feeling couldn't be any sweeter. God has a plan for everyone and sometimes that plan is great. Sometimes that plan is horrible. I've found myself on many occasions not being on speaking terms with my God. You wonder why me? Or why this way? How is this a good thing? It doesn't make any sense. But then again, it doesn't make any sense that a beautiful woman would love someone that didn't measure up to certain people in the past whatever relationship they may have had. It doesn't make any sense. But it doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. Cause I'm in love. And that is all that matters to me!

I'm happy. I happy with myself, I'm happy with the world, and whatever bad times are in front of me, she makes it OK. She makes me who I am. I've never been more of who I am than since I've been with her. I get to grow up, because she makes me feel like a kid again! So I guess I'll start growing up. I got the girl in my love story and that's a good way to start.


Jess said...

I love you...you're MY everything. So together...we will make it.

big D said...

I'm glad you've finally accepted the fact that you are NOT pacey!! Congratulation again on the engagement! Can't wait to see you guys next month!!